With many friends complaining about how torturous 2010 is, I find it the most rewarding year so far. Or I should say, the most rewarding year to become.
The most obvious reason is my participation in the L’Oreal Brandstorm Competition. I love it, I totally LOVE every single bit of it.
I don’t care how crazy people think I am, or the way they criticized my team mates' lack of interest and commitment level, I am VERY proud of them.
Like what I’ve told many, my ultimate aim at this point is that I want to present what we’ve spent months to materialise to the judges. Because this is what we’ve built from nothing to something. Something which we have so much faith in, as a team. Something which have brought us thus far.
Indeed, there were deadlines we barely met, preparations we scarcely done. If there’ve been more time and commitment level, we could have done much better. However upon reflection, I realised that these so-called failures were our greatest achievement.
After the Semi-Finals, I felt terribly disappointed and frustrated. I vent some of these frustrations on Peiwen, whom instead of blaming me, subtly taught me one of the biggest lessons in my Uni life. And I’ve to admit that it took days to fully digest and accept what she said.
And I have also to admit that after the competition I broke down and shed tears of resentment, frustration and disappointment in front of a kind, patient and longstanding friend of mine (Thank You). I resented at the lack of practice, help and initiative from my team members, as well as the outcome of our performance. I was intolerant to the incompetency of the team. I was disappointed at what could have been above expectation. And I hated to lose to factors other than capability.
However however. I soon realised that it was how the 3 of us again and again met the requirements at the very last minute when we could easily give up that spelt out our greatest achievement so far.
We could have given up right during the Preliminary Round, but somehow we managed to scribble out the report and PPT.
We could have withdrawn when we knew that Dominic will not be there for the Semi-Finals and there were gonna be 60 more slides to do and tons of props to make, but we managed to complete the filming and proudly done up all the props and slides.
We could have flared up at one another for the workload each have to bear and the sacrifices each have to make, but never once we brought it personal.
We wanted to make the best of every meeting, which all indeed turned out to be effective and efficient.
We complained we dreaded, but we’ve each performed our roles in a perfect way to complement each other.
Now that we’ve been fortunately granted a second chance, I am extremely grateful and relaxed (surprisingly).
I would want to prove ourselves and better present our ideas again.
And prove to other teams that if we managed to get through to the Finals, it’s simply because we are better.
Here are some words of enlightenment and encouragement from the firm helping hands which I knew I could hold on to:
Peiwen: You need to understand that we each have our own priorities and we’re not paid to do this. It is our responsibility to contribute as much as we can, but if someone can’t perform to expectation, we can’t put the blame on them.
The reason why I like my Chingay team so much is because even if someone screwed up the event, we would all give one another a pat at the back and say, “good job done!”
I believe you’ve learnt much from this experience, in terms of people management, time management, and the different skill sets.
And Christina, I realised you’re actually very capable.
Dominic: You know what, Christina is the motivation for Peiwen and I to continue in this competition. If not we would give up long ago.
Michael Ng: The most torturous experience is the best experience.
Michael Tan: It’s okay, I understand how it feels. Some people want to make things happen, others wait for things to happen, and many don’t know what had happened. So it’s good that you’re driven. I call this intolerance to incompetency.
Huiqin: It’s good to see that you’re so passionate about something again. Like how you used to be about journalism. It’s rare, and you should keep it up.
Alwin: Take it as part of leaning. We learn best when we make mistakes. Getting there is not easy, give yourself a pat on your back. Remember most importantly is the lesson you took back from L’Oreal.
Also, not to forget
Daniel, Chen Chung, Jonathan, DC, PG, who have also helped substantially along the way.
I am grateful.
But more importantly, I’m always reminded of the conversation I had with Jerry Tan:
JT: Tell me your greatest strength.
Me: I do not give up.
2009 ended with an untimely explosion from CAC.
Committee members were asked to pay for a compensation amount up to $43 each for damaged clothing. With a severe lack of transparency and justice, and an outright mismanagement.
I would have willingly shared the burden if there’ve been proper dealings to keep everyone informed and involved. Without even being in the loop, how can anyone blatantly expect me to pay for something which I wasn’t even liable for, merely with a statement like “since we are in a team we should help one another out.”
My Ass.
If you truly treated everyone as a team, no one should be left out. Please do not use that as an excuse to make people pay money blindly. And mind you, I was out this so-called team more than half a year ago.
Nonetheless I paid. Mostly because of how others have been convinced me of the impossibility of fighting against a huge committee with the strength of a tiny finger, as well as the “pointlessness” of the continued agony. The fact that other committee members have accepted the unjustified reasoning and decided to move on by quickly sweeping the matter under the carpet also put another stop for my silent but violent objection.
This was perhaps one of the very very few regretful decisions I’ve ever made. Or perhaps, the only one.
This was certainly the most unfair and absurd mishap that have taken place in my rather short existence of 21 years.
As hard as I tried to let go of the unhappiness and rage that engulfed me through 2 whole months, I could not help by to chide myself for not able to stand firm on my ground and to fight back bravely. I regret for being the “Miss Nice” who tries to please everyone and maintains an amiable image. Because the outcome of it was that I’ve failed myself. What could have been worse than letting yourself down by not holding firm to your own principles that are proudly righteous and giving in just to be the timid peace-maker?
Don’t I hate bochap-ness to the core?
Yes, I know that the entire ridiculous episode was long over, but whenever I let my thoughts linger on it, I couldn’t help but to feel a tangible resentment.
This is the first thing I’ve learnt in the year 2010:
My lovely ex-students~! Grown so much and still so adorable! :D 
Kids who love reading. That makes them even more adorable!
The 2 sisters ;)
That's little Ariel. Isn't she cute?
