9:07 PM
Monday, August 31, 2009
You've breached my trust and faith.
I feel like a total idiot right now.
I've been trying my best to help this new friend of mine out recently, at least i think I've done what I can do within my ability.
To listen to her problems and complaints; to personally look for her making sure that she takes regular and healthy meals or to simply check her out; to accompany her when she was facing relationship hiccups, to search up and down for ways and means that may be of use to her in aiding her financial and medical situations....
It is not usual of me to stay so close to a rather negative influence- someone who has been asking me to club and drink, someone who has been wanting to influence me to be a homosexual, someone who has been trying to twist my perception towards many blissful things in life.
That’s alright with me as long as I stand firm with my own values and principles. But it’s not alright when I’ve been taken for granted so evidently.
Where are your replies to my greeting smses and msn prompts? And where did my miss calls end up at? My dear, I seldom sms and call people out of my own initiative and I do not enjoy waiting for replies endlessly. And the very first time that you took the initiative to say hello to me on msn was when you threw a sudden bomb like,
“hey dear, im jobless and cashless now, can you transfer me some money?”
WTH?
And when I cared to ask about your situation, you smoked me through by saying your ego does not permit you to reveal too much about it?
So I should just be contented with being your emergency ATM machine without asking anything? It that what you call a “good friend”?
My dear friend, I’ve shown you the way, numerous times, each with specific directions and procedures. All you needed to do was to kick start with something (anything at all!) rather than being convinced but yet chose to rot your life away and then after a while coming to me and complaining and whining and asking for help again.
My dear friend, you tested me to the limit yesterday. When I agreed to help you out again this time with just 2 simple requests that you shall not use the money to spend on cigarettes and that make sure you take good care of your health, where was your reply? Or even a tiny sign of gratitude? Not at all? Am I just a disposable “emergency-call” kinda friend whom you can endlessly exploit and then leave aside after gotten what you intended from me?
My dear friend, I decided to give you, or rather this friendship, another chance just now, before I went to the ATM to make the transfer. I called you to show concern, but soon found out that you were hanging out with your usual group of friends with a noisy background.
“Yea, it’s quite urgent, I’ve only 5 bucks left and I need cash asap.”
Why is it so matter-of-factly, why is there no trace of regret or a mentality to lead a better life, and why are there so many complaints about earning “peanuts” from your previous job when you’ve not even found a replacement?
What do you have in your stake to allow you to pick on and quit your previous job when you have no savings and backup plans at all? Simply to stretch your hand and wait for free cash to flow into your account?
The disappointment was not entirely in you, nor the fact that I was being taken for granted.
I was more disappointed with myself. For I failed to touch your heart and show you a better world, for I failed to deliver an effective helping hand, for I failed to change you for the better, even for a little bit.
=(
That's it. That's all I can do, and no more. I'm not gonna try anymore.
Take care pal, and please stay out of my life from now on.
