Do you know how horrified I was when you said you wanted to end your life?
Do you know how painful I felt when you said it was a grave mistake and burden of mine to have known you?
Do you know how angry I was when you kept convincing yourself nothing could be possible when you have not even tried?

Do you know how fearful I am, when you’re losing your rationality and ability to remember things?

One of the things that you hate the most is to see me cry, but do you have any idea of much tears I’ve shed? For you? Because of you?

If I’ve not given up, how could you? How can you?

Huiqin, please, I beg you, wake up.
Wake up, be strong.

If you can’t hold on to yourself, hold on to me.
If you can’t believe in yourself, believe in me.
If you can’t overcome the seemingly bleak future ahead, I’ll walk beside you.
If you think the world has given up on you,
then let me tell you,
I have not,
and I will never.

Please, remember. Please.

The enormous amount of stress and fear I’ve been facing these days has torn me apart but yet has somehow toughened me up,
I know very clearly that I can’t, and I’m not allowed to, back out.
Even though a voice at the back of my mind has been telling me otherwise.

If I’ve not given up, how could you? How can you?

If you think your life matters no more, then what about your parents’?
Your siblings?
And those around you?
Are you going to abandon them all?

Are you going to abandon, me?

The person whom you’ve grown up with,
The person whom you’ve regarded as best friend for more than 12 years,
The person whom you always confide in,
The person whom you always say you can’t live without,
The person who loves you as much as you love her.

Please, don’t ever leave me,
don’t ever forget me,
I’ve lost too many love ones,
And I can’t afford one more.
Please.
Please.

Please.