6:04 PM
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Let it be the first and the last.

Dominic bought a cup of fruit tea and the 5 of us occupied 2 tables in The Coffee Bean for the entire afternoon. Haha! but it was quite productive la. x)
Peiwen suddenly had a craving for M18 movies after the project meeting. haha so Mark, Peiwen and I went to Lot1 to catch My Best Friend's Girl.
They thought it was fine.
But i was TRAUMATISED!!!!!
O________________O
I'm not gonna watch any of that kind of M18 shows again!
lols.
5:59 PM
My New Desktop Background

Cool right? hehe. x)
I wanna learn violin~~
I need a charming prince to teach me violin!
haha.
5:35 AM
Friday, September 26, 2008
HoHoHo~
That was my hair on tuesday.....

And then on Thurs, it became like that:
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Feel like a secondary kid altogether~
Ah.... the weather is so hot these days~
Anyways. i was watching Crunchyroll and Tudou ALL DAY LONG for the past 2 days!!! *ps despite the uber cliche plot, Sky of Love made me cry like a baby! haha.
Crouch potato in the making!
*SLAP*
tutorials UNDONE!!!
argh. argh.... ARGH!!!
hahahha.
piece of
GREAT news~~~~ Huiqin is discharged!!!!
Hooray~ x) x) x)
7:33 PM
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
New lunch outlet, new look, new mood. x)
Lunch with my beloved Simin @ Full House ~ =D
Their APPLE curry bento was surprisingly yummy!!
Fancy a thick & creamy toast? =)

Hope to meet up again SOOOOON darling~~~ x)
Take one last look at my uber long hair. I stopped keeping fringe after primay...4? haha.
Well... it's back! haha.
The hairdresser at Shirley Mah took 1.5 hours to trim my hair and cut my fringe! haha such a patient hairdresser! and friendly too! Look for Esther if you're going there k! x)
Tata~~
My head feels much lighter now.... haha.
8:08 AM
Monday, September 22, 2008
I have a Secret


"Style that Lasts"

Yes, this is my new love.
LG Secret. The newcomer of the LG's The Black Label Series, after Chocolate and Shine.

I didn't expect myself to get this phone actually...coz I was expecting a Sony Ericsson W910i (white of course).
With my current StarHub Power Value 100 plan, I could get the W910i for $98, which was within my budget of $100. Then my father told me that his budget for me was $200! woah, unexpected! haha.
So i was like.... which one should i get...??
W910i looks more appealing to me actually...coz it's white? lols. And i've always wanted a SE phone due to their easily customisable user interfaces and themes.
Somehow i felt that it's not worth the money if i get a W910i, since it has been in the market for more than a year already. Newer series of functionally superior phones have been out and their prices are on par with the rather outdated W910i, so isn't it a bit stupid to get a W910i now...? haha
Though LG Secret costs a hundred bucks more, hey it's FIVE megapixel (W910i is 2 MP)! And the screen and back cover are made of tempered glass and carbon fiber respectively. W910i? cheap plastic? In terms of money value, Secret is the best choice of the entire range of phones available there. =)
After i got the phone, i did a research online. The overall performance of Secret is quite good, except that the battery life can be rather short and the touch screen function seems a bit lag.
Well, for someone who doesn't fit to be in the IT generation, it's more than enough. =P
5:54 PM
Sunday, September 21, 2008
If all these were nothing but a dream, i wanna wake up.

Yesterday was my first visit to the IMH. Frankly speaking, I was very, very, scared.
But I was glad that Huiqin’s condition has improved, at least we could still chat and she was making sense. But it was obvious that she’s still very depressed and pessimistic.
Her disturbing dreams also worry me.
I felt a mixture of both happiness and guilt when she said she could lift up her spirit a little with my presence, I should have visited her earlier. Test, homework and projects, as well as my own timidity were pulling me back whenever I felt like visiting her. I was fearful, fearful that she’ll not recognise me and chase me away again. I could never accept if that has happened.
It was a long journey to the remote IMH, and I was impressed by my own courage to visit there at night, alone. The place is huge, and the lights are very dim at night. Walking along the pavement made me feel that I could easily be engulfed by the darkness anytime.
During my visit, I was approached thrice by mental patients, what a shame that Huiqin had to be the one to fence them off for me.
The thought that she has to face them everyday horrified me. If a normal girl like me felt scared and uncomfortable during the 2-hour visit, what about someone as vulnerable as Huiqin, who has to stay there for weeks? No doubt that she longs to go home, but according to Mr Chow, she could only be discharged in 2 week’s time. Provided the doctors are convinced that she’s fine by then.
The environment is not conducive at all. Visitors are not allowed to stay there for long and there’s an obvious lack of manpower to look after the patients. 9 patients with varying conditions share a single bedroom; more than 30 of them share a common activity room, “assaults” can be rather frequent. Items get “stolen” very easily and Huiqin even has to obtain special permission in order to keep her spectacles with her.
She needs companionship. Perhaps that’s the only thing that I can do for her.
Hope the magazines that I brought for her are able to keep her accompanied for the lonely and gloomy nights.
3:45 PM
Feeling Blue
11:37 AM
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I was so so so SO furious yesterday...
I was,
but no more today.
*peace*
but i don't mind an apology from that insane gf of SR's. hahas. =P
8:36 AM
Saturday, September 13, 2008
我最最担心的事情还是发生了。
惠琴的病情越来越严重,一点好转的迹象也没有。。。
Schizophrenia。
一个无形的心理恶魔竟然把一个好好的女孩和她的家人折磨成这个样子,把我折磨成这个样子。
上帝真的是公平的吗?
惠琴不记得我了,她认不出我了。
从小跟我一起长大的好朋友好姐妹直勾勾地看着我,神情呆滞地跟我说她不认识我。
“惠琴,你知道我是谁吗?我是芳达啊。你知道谁是芳达吗?”
“芳达?谁是芳达?”
“芳达是你最好的朋友啊....”
“谁?不知道。”
不知道。
“走开呀你!走开!走开!我不要看到你!”
走开。
为什么会变成这样。
明明几个星期前还一起出门,一起有说有笑,一起做功课。
为什么会变成这样。
要从我身边夺走多少个人才甘心?
为什么是我?为什么是我最好的朋友?
为什么为什么为什么为什么!!
为什么。
11:48 PM
Monday, September 8, 2008
Beyond Tears

Do you know how horrified I was when you said you wanted to end your life?
Do you know how painful I felt when you said it was a grave mistake and burden of mine to have known you?
Do you know how angry I was when you kept convincing yourself nothing could be possible when you have not even tried?
Do you know how fearful I am, when you’re losing your rationality and ability to remember things?
One of the things that you hate the most is to see me cry, but do you have any idea of much tears I’ve shed? For you? Because of you?
If I’ve not given up, how could you? How can you?
Huiqin, please, I beg you, wake up.
Wake up, be strong.
If you can’t hold on to yourself, hold on to me.
If you can’t believe in yourself, believe in me.
If you can’t overcome the seemingly bleak future ahead, I’ll walk beside you.
If you think the world has given up on you,
then let me tell you,
I have not,
and I will never.
Please, remember. Please.
The enormous amount of stress and fear I’ve been facing these days has torn me apart but yet has somehow toughened me up,
I know very clearly that I can’t, and I’m not allowed to, back out.
Even though a voice at the back of my mind has been telling me otherwise.
If I’ve not given up, how could you? How can you?
If you think your life matters no more, then what about your parents’?
Your siblings?
And those around you?
Are you going to abandon them all?
Are you going to abandon, me?
The person whom you’ve grown up with,
The person whom you’ve regarded as best friend for more than 12 years,
The person whom you always confide in,
The person whom you always say you can’t live without,
The person who loves you as much as you love her.
Please, don’t ever leave me,
don’t ever forget me,
I’ve lost too many love ones,
And I can’t afford one more.
Please.
Please.
Please.